laid off and no sleep - makes a stressed out Had

So all I can say is that it has been a sh...y week and that is all that I can say about it…ok not really…I can say a lot more, I am pissed off, I am sad, I am stressed out, I am laid off and I can’t sleep through the whole night. I really miss my Mimi right now because she would have had the perfect thing to say to me about all of this. I have to believe that there is something better out there and that job that wake up in the morning for and look forward to going to is out there. It might be the best thing that could happen 6 months down the road but for now life is a little STRESSED. Ok so it could be worse I did get a package of 2 months but that is 6 weeks away…till then I will do what I need, even if that means picking up extra hours at Gap during the week. But hopefully the connection with a former manager (who left AOL close to 2 years ago and started his own business) will get me closer to a job – when I left on Tuesday Dave was like call Jason he might have something for you as a production artist…so I called him on Wednesday morning, heard back from him on Wednesday afternoon- requested a resume…I spent the rest of the day and into the evening working on updating my resume (thanks Jackie for all of the formatting and embellishing –aka BS that a resume involves) So that I can tweak it in the morning – ok so I was not thinking of 4.30 am but here I am awake typing this out cause I really need to go for a swim or run or a bike ride…(I am waiting for the running shoes that I ordered 2.5 months ago – the tracking number says they are on the way here- should be here today) Damn it I no longer have a gym -…and the old running shoes got a good bit of paint on them at volunteer day at a local school – at least I was not in the office on Friday and left early on Monday. And why did I wear running shoes to work on Tuesday cause I don’t think I had ever worn them there in the 5.5 years that I worked in that office – bouncing all over cc1.

I was writing this in Times Roman, and had to change cause it was about to piss me off- what an over used font – (this is also a result of working on the resume) ok so you Can see the brain is working in over time Hadley – bouncing from one thing to the next – if you can keep up that means you really know me by now and if not well read it again- . I don’t work well on little sleep. So I am in the dark glow of the computer typing…maybe if I get some of this out I can sleep in the morning.

So I am flipping back and forth with the resume and this and it is almost 6 – what the hell am I doing up- STILL-there is an almost full moon over my head in the sky light- So I should say something about glass…the fairy window has had a few more adjustments but I am happier about the water change and the way it is fitting together now. I only have to grind some of the last pieces but I should have it wrapped before next Tuesday so I can put it all together. (remember stainglass is a little cheaper than fusing but no Xerox now so who knows what I will do next- but the holidays are right around the corner so maybe I can get the sales going) So on Tuesday when I walked in they all clapped and were happy to see me – they all thought that I would be out at a bar having a drink – but no Tuesday is glass night and I needed that little bit of normalcy cause I knew it was going to be the last of it for a while. We had a few strangers return from a 6 month break (welcome back girls) – they are all coming back- And then in walks Cindy and Leah – sad to see me leaving – but they had a yellow m&m shaped ice-cream cake and glitter dyed flowers for me…it felt more like my birthday than my lay off…but they just wanted to show me that they were going to miss me at work. (Remember the pond on a day when you really need a break from the office – and school store runs for chocolate) So now they are just going to have to come to Alexandria on Tuesdays to see me and the rest of the crazy glass ladies and guy.

And in the middle of all of this crazy morning hours I check my email and I have one from Cindy saying that she has designed a t-shirt in my honor and all of her sleepless hours - if you want to see it -(www.designrabbit.com/blog )…and it made me cry – but then again I have made her cry this week too by having to leave. This is not a vacation this is reality that I have to find something cause I want to be here and I want to stay here…I will make it happen and hope that things will always be a little easier than they first were when I moved to DC 6.5 years ago. Could it be worse than that 3 week job at BETv? At least I started some of my Christmas shopping earlier this fall- I think I had something telling me this might happen. And I really don’t think that I had been happy there since Marty left back in August. My job was no longer a challenge it was the same type of thing every day…that is if there was something to do – I had slipped into going in later, leaving closer to 5:30 than 6:30…I looked forward to lunch with the girls and going to the gym – how I will hate missing 20 20 20 and cardio sculpt and kick-boxing…and I will miss my Friday morning coffee from Fatima, telling her good bye was not an easy thing- I made her cry and then I teared up and she was like those stupid people (for laying me off) but said I would be fine and that I would be missed. Maybe I can send another coffee cake via Cindy and Leah to her for the holidays –since her husband ate the one I made her for her birthday. I will miss that place – maybe not the full drive out there but the simple trip over to Wegmans (does this mean I have to go back to the Giant?) the general knowledge of the area – ok so I had been there for 5.5 years – oh and that is some JUNK to haul out of the office on your last day (I can now hear the early morning planes coming in for a landing). At least Elizabeth came and found me in the parking lot and picked up the very over due table that I borrowed from her in May and had been in my trunk all summer – a slacker with that one for sure. And Marty your fridge is now at Leah’s desk, maybe she cleaned it out and defrosted it.

I played the lotto yesterday – the pot was $340 million – I did not even win $3… well I think it is now time to try and craw back into bed and try and get a few hours of sleep now- the sun is about to come up – today is polish off the resume some more…listen to my phone ring and think do I have the minutes left to talk this month…go get my haircut cause if I am doing interviews I need to at least look nice…dig in the closet and find a pair of dress pants that fit to wear to the interviews…and stop by Madeline’s Holiday Show at her house and get some of the chocolate covered peanut brittle (that stuff is SOOO GOOD) and get that run/swim/ or bike in there too. Oh and to make calls for the placement center to go on Friday afternoon if I am not meeting with Jason by then, find out about my 410k balance and if I have worry about that, stock and insurance are 2 weeks away but the list is growing and the notes by the side of the bed are too – of what I need and want to do and in between the sleep and the dreams that keep waking me up and making me talk in my sleep. Stress it is such a great thing – maybe my glasses will come in this afternoon and I can see the next time I am up at 4:30 am working on the computer.